Don't blame the parents - or the kids!

There was a time when challenging behaviour in children was linked to poor parenting. There was a belief that behaviours due to passive, permissive, inconsistent or non-contingent parenting (no consequences). In other words, because of poor parenting, kids learned that challenging behaviour is an effective means of getting something, or escaping or avoiding something. But now that we know that challenging behaviours happen when the cognitive demands being placed on the child outstrip his/her capacity to respond adaptively, we know that our parenting isn't to blame. Finally, one less thing to feel guilty about!

So now that we know why, what should we do about it? Here's a little bit more context and Dr. Ross Greene's solution - Collaborative Problem Solving.

RhondaSo we've figured out that lagging cognitive skills are the root of challenging behaviours, and challenging behaviours emerge when the lack of skills clashes with the demands of the environment. If the skills are there - no behaviour. If the skills aren't there, but there's no demand either - no behaviour. No skills and demand - challenging behaviour. That's pretty straightforward. But how do we fix it? That's the question that had me squirming in my seat at last week's presentation by Dr. Greene.

But he had a bit more information to share first. (And yes, it's another mantra!) Incompatibility episodes cannot be viewed outside the context of development. The goal of intervention is to move development forward. Cognitive skills don't develop equally - we have neuroscience to prove it - but they can be developed with intervention. But we have to start where the child is now to get to the endpoint. (In other words, it's not the child's fault their brain developed differently!)

OK, we're almost ready for the how, but not quite yet. Let's answer the last question - the one I mentioned wasn't as important as the rest - What do challenging kids do when they're challenging? Basically, there are a variety of challenging behaviours when the clash of forces occurs, distinguished primarly by their severity. That could be anything from whining and sulking to head banging, cutting, or suicide - and everything in between. All the things humans do in response to unsolved problems. Dr. Greene calls those behaviours The Spectrum of Looking Bad. We all look bad when our skills are outstripped by the demand placed upon us, it's just a matter of degree. Don't forget - the behaviour itself is less important than the reasons for the behaviour.

OK, so the how. I can't explain it all today (yep, you guessed it, another blog posting is coming your way!). Dr. Greene calls his approach to helping challenging kids collaborative problem solving. Sounds straightforward - working together to solve problems. But it's a little more detailed than that, and relies on the adults to take a proactive approach rather than a reactive approach. Details tomorrow, but here are the general goals of the approach:

Lenses come first
- make sure that caregivers understand why incompatibility episodes occur (lagging skills and demand for those skills).

Get organized
- identify the specific situations in which incompatibility episodes occur (unsolved problems)
- create mechanisms for communication, continuity and proactive intervention.

Get busy
- solve problems and teach skills,

Tomorrow, a bit more info on assessing lagging skills and unsolved problems.

If you would like more information on skills programs at Bridgeway and Turning Tides Community Outreach please visit our websites or contact us. You can reach Bridgeway at 902-465-4800 and Turning Tides at 904-404-TIDE (8433). You can also email Rebecca at rebecca@turningtides.ca.  

The clash of two forces - Or when challenging kids are challenging

So are you starting to get the feeling that I really like Dr. Green and his philosophies? It's common sense, but often hard for us to see when a child is melting down in front of us. A little understanding definitely goes a long way, so I'll be sharing Dr. Greene's wisdom for at least a few more days.

Rhonda

So have you noticed that challenging kids aren't always challenging? They can work and cope in certain situations, but others will set off the negative behaviours. Why is that?

The answer, according to Dr. Greene, is "The Clash of Two Forces." Sounds dramatic, doesn't it? It's not really, just a bit of common sense:

Challenging episodes occur when the cognitive demands being placed upon a person outstrip the person's capacity to respond adaptively.

That's it. I'm sure we've all had moments when the circumstances we're in lead us to think, "I can't handle this." We're recognizing that we may not have the skills to do what we need to do.

Dr. Greene calls the "when" of challenging behaviour The Unsolved Problem. He defines unsolved problems as, the specific conditions in which the demands being placed upon a person exceed the person's capacity to respond adaptively. I'm not going to swim across the Halifax Harbour because I don't have the swimming skills and stamina to do it. Why should we expect a child with no emotional regulation skills to keep it together when they're feeling disappointed?

That leads us to another mantra - Behind every compatibility episode is a lagging skill and a demand for that skill (an unsolved problem).

When we're presented with an unsolved problem, we solve it. It's no different for challenging behaviours. That's the third question Dr. Greene presents (remember the list I shared a few days ago?) - What are we going to do differently now that we know why challenging kids are challenging? We'll get to that answer over the next few days.

If you would like more information on skills programs at Bridgeway and Turning Tides Community Outreach please visit our websites or contact us. You can reach Bridgeway at 902-465-4800 and Turning Tides at 904-404-TIDE (8433). You can also email Rebecca at rebecca@turningtides.ca.  

Kids do well if they can

The mantra - kids do well if they can - is one that I have been repeating to myself over the last several weeks. The idea that even challening kids have this innate desire to do well, rather falling into behaviours because they don't want to do well, is so refreshing. But what is getting in the way? Again, some advice from Dr. Greene...

Rhonda

Why are challenging kids challenging? You could look to a clinical diagnosis for the explanation - oppositional definance disorder, ADHD, bipolar, etc. - but it doesn't really answer the question. If we start with Dr. Greene's statement - kids do well if they can - it can help us look at a challenging child a different way.

The first step in the process is to stop focusing on the diagnosis and start focusing on the skills the child is lacking. Maybe they are impulsive, have difficulty considering the impact of their actions, or struggle with planning and problem solving. Maybe the behaviour is not because they don't have the motivation, but because they don't have the skills to deal with certain situations.

Imagine if you were trying to succeed at work but didn't have the skills to do what you needed to do. Would you be on time for work every day if you had no sense of time? Could you take on that big project if you didn't have problem solving or planning skills? How would you feel if you tried, over and over again, to get job tasks like these like this done, but kept failing - and getting in trouble for it?

Before we can get to the bottom of what is making any child so challenging, Dr. Greene suggests we must answer the following questions:

• Why are challenging kids so challenging?
• When are challenging kids challenging?
• What are we going to do differently now that we know why challenging kids are challenging?

And less important,

• What do challenging kids do when they're challenging?

Doing well is always preferable to not doing well - another mantra from Dr. Greene. So let's start with why some kids are so challenging. What's getting in the way? Here's Dr. Green's unconventional answer:

Challenging kids are challenging because they're lacking the skills not to be challenging...they are delayed in the development of crucial cognitive skills - often including flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem solving. Challenging behaviour communicates that the kid doesn't have the skills to respond to problems more adaptively.

So you can see why discipline and punishment doesn't work - it's not addressing the root of the problem. In fact, it's probably making it worse.

How can we help? We don't know that until we can get through the rest of the questions Dr. Greene has laid out. Tomorrow's blog - when are challenging kids challenging?

If you would like more information on skills programs at Bridgeway and Turning Tides Community Outreach please visit our websites or contact us. You can reach Bridgeway at 902-465-4800 and Turning Tides at 904-404-TIDE (8433). You can also email Rebecca at rebecca@turningtides.ca.  

Dealing with Challenging kids - Thank you Dr. Greene

For the next few days, we'll be featuring a guest blog by Rhonda Brown, Director of Communications at our sister organization, Bridgeway Academy.  She attended a full-day presentation last month in Halifax by Dr. Ross Green, child psychologist and author of "The Explosive Child" and "Lost at School."  She'll share her thoughts on what she learned here in the blog.  You can also read about his philosophies on his website - www.livesinthebalance.org.

Enjoy!

By Rhonda Brown

I have always believed that kids who misbehave, disengage, drop out, or otherwise resist being successful in school are dealing with something more than a lack of interest, laziness or a failure to try. They actually lack the skills they need to be successful.  It's a philosophy that Bridgeway shares, and that's why we focus on skill development (academic, social and behavioural) with our students.  Dr. Greene shares this point of view - and has the neuroscience to back it up!

But don't take it from me. I'll have Dr. Greene explain in his own words, which are from the very first paragraph of his book, "Lost at School".

The wasted human potential is tragic. In so many schools, kids with social, emotional, and behavioural challenges are still poorly understood and treated in a way that is completely at odds with what is now known about how they came to be challenging in the first place. The frustration and desperation felt by teachers and parents is palpable. Many teachers continue to experience enormous stress related to classroom behaviour problems and from dealing with parents, and do not receive the support they need to help their challenging students. Half of teachers leave the profession within their first four years, and kids with behavioural challenges and their parents are cited as one of the major reasons. Parents know there's trouble at school, know they're being blamed, feel their kids are misunderstood and mistreated, but feel powerless to make things better and are discouraged and put off by their interactions with school personnel.

Dr. Greene goes on to talk about how our school discipline models are broken, and getting tougher with kids isn't working. He cites some amazing statistics - zero tolerance polices designed to make schools safer or offer a more effective way of dealing with behaviour have actually increased behaviour and dropout rates. But schools continue to hand out expulsions and suspensions - 110,000 and 3 million respectively each year in the US.

But what Dr. Greene made clear is that it doesn't have to be this way. Here again are his words:

"I interact with hundreds of challenging kids every year. These kids would like nothing better than to be able to handle the social, emotional, and behavioural challenges being placed on them at school and in life, but they can't seem to pull it off. Many have been getting into trouble for so long that they've lost faith that any adult will ever know how to help them.

Dr. Greene gave us a few key mantras during his presentation on Thursday. Here's the first: Kids do well if they can. It's up to us as adults to figure out why so we can help.

Tomorrow, I'll share some of Dr. Greene's advice on what each of us dealing with a challenging child needs to figure out before we can help.

If you would like more information on skills programs at Bridgeway and Turning Tides Community Outreach please visit our websites or contact us. You can reach Bridgeway at 902-465-4800 and Turning Tides at 904-404-TIDE (8433). You can also email Rebecca at rebecca@turningtides.ca.  

Bill Strickland - Hope & Possibility

Bill Strickland believes in hope and possibility. He believes that the impossible can be made possible. Officially, he is a "nationally recognized as a visionary leader who authentically delivers educational and cultural opportunities to students and adults within an organizational culture that fosters innovation, creativity, responsibility and integrity." He has created an arts, education and job-training program in Pittsburg, which he hopes to replicate around the world.

Bill Strickland will bring his vision to Halifax this spring as one of the keynote speakers at Emergent Learning: Turning Tides in 21st Century Education. Before he gets here, we'll explore his ideas, his books and his success stories on our blog. Here's a terrific introduction as Bill speaks about his story and the story of Manchester Bidwell Corporation. Enjoy!

Should my child have a tutor?

By Angela Rudderham, Director of Turning Tides Community Outreach

Every parent wants their child to succeed in school and have a future full of opportunities and possibilities. We send them to school each day with all their supplies and a balanced lunch and trust that our educators will work to develop our child’s true potential and foster in them a desire to learn. 

Unfortunately, not every child’s true potential is unlocked from simply attending school. 

In fact, 15-year-olds in Nova Scotia scored statistically lower than the Canadian average according to Statistics Canada Labour Force Survey 2006.  Math scores in Nova Scotia were some of the country’s lowest as found in Measuring up: Canadian Results of the OECD PISA Study Ottawa, Statistics Canada, 2007.  Literacy was the lowest in the country and the dropout rate was 8.6% says Statistics Canada Labour Force Survey 2010.  Only 28% of students from Nova Scotia will go on to university and 8% will go on to a college or trade education (Labour force survey 2006). 

All of this evidence tells us our children will most likely need other supports to ensure their success.  The question is, when is additional support necessary?

You may want to consider tutoring if:

Your child still needs help mastering basic skills.  Teachers will move forward whether your child has mastered the skill or not. If basic skills are not mastered than the student will struggle when relying on them to solve more complex problems. These skills need to be re- taught until mastered.

Your child struggles with organization, working independently or lacks study skills. Often the brightest students who learn quickly may lack organizational skills or become overwhelmed when faced with a testing situation. Anyone can benefit from learning how to organize notes, break down large assignments, meet due dates or discover how they best take in information.

Your child has a learning disability.  This will interfere with the learning process in areas such as the intake, storage, processing, retrieval and/or output of information. A tutoring service that has extensive experience and training in helping students with learning disabilities should be able to show the student how they learn best and provide strategies for independent success.

Your child is struggling with big life changes.  A move, divorce, new school, family issues can all contribute to your child being distracted from their school work. Working closely with a tutor will ensure a smoother transition.

Your child struggles with behavioral, social or emotional needs.  Often these needs can contribute to missed instruction time. A tutor with experience working with students who have had similar needs will often have a large tool box of strategies to draw from to keep your child engaged and on track.

Your child has missed a lot of school due to medical or other reasons. A tutor can go back and teach what was missed and help the student gain back the confidence that they may have lost. They can also work around the student’s schedule.

You want to give your child the competitive edge to get ahead.  There is always room for improvement. Striving to do our personal best is an excellent habit to develop at any age.

Your child needs homework support.  Parents, homework and the student can sometimes be an unpleasant combination to say the least. In most homes both parents are working or have other major responsibilities and there just isn’t time to give your child the homework support they need without it taking on a rushed or negative tone. Let someone else be the “bad “guy and save your parent/ child time for the important stuff like hugs and kisses.

The right tutoring service will be able to match your child’s needs with the right program. They should understand the importance of rappot building between the student and the tutor. The tutor should be willing to work with your child’s teacher, provide regular updates and reports and improvements should be noticed after a few months. Be wary of services that will not let you observe or listen in on sessions at least once or have no way to measure the acquisition of new skills.

There is little doubt that anyone can benefit from tutoring.  Do your homework and shop around.  Ask questions and compare services and prices until you find the right fit.

Angela is a behaviour and social skills specialist who has developed programs for students, as well as support workshops for parents, teachers and other professionals.  Turning Tides Community Outreach offers tutoring services to meet the academic, social, behavioural and organizatonal needs of any child.  For more information or advice, please give Angela a call at 902-404-TIDE (8433).

Do you know the signs a child may be struggling with a Learning Disability?

By Angela .E. Rudderham

 A recent study called, “Putting a Face on Learning Disabilities”, used Statistics Canada survey data and focus groups with adults and children with learning disabilities, as well as with parents of children with learning disabilities. The results are that undiagnosed learning disabilities often lead to long-lasting psychological harm.

Without intervention, support or accommodations children are less likely to succeed in school, and adults less likely to graduate or be employed, and more likely to report suicidal thoughts, depression, or anxiety. When you have a learning disability it is not just a matter of “trying harder” - further intervention is necessary for the student to learn what he will need to achieve success.

It's not uncommon for students to struggle in or dislike school. It's not uncommon that a student may not excel in a particular area of school or not achieve marks that reflect their true potential. So how do parents and educators spot the sometimes subtle warning signs that a student may have a learning disability?

A learning disability doesn't mean the student is slow. So many times I hear people deny a child’s possible learning disability in statements such as, “No he definitely wouldn’t have a LD, he is very bright and intelligent.” This does not mean he is exempt from a learning disability. Plenty of highly intelligent people have been diagnosed with a learning disability. In fact one of the first steps professionals take in diagnosing a learning disability is to determine the  child’s potential (IQ) and compare it to the child’s performance. They do this through a series of tests called a psycho educational assessment.  They are looking for any issues in the learning process.

They will look at how the individual:

ü  Takes in information. There could be a problem with how the brain interprets what the eyes see; this is called visual perception disorder. It could be an issue taking in sounds; this is referred to as an auditory perception or auditory processing disorder.

ü   Makes sense of or processes information. Someone who has difficulty in this area may have trouble organizing their thoughts or struggle with the ability to infer meaning.

ü  Stores information. The individual may have deficits in the area of short term memory, working memory or long term memory.

ü  Is using or getting information out.  Difficulty coordinating the muscles of the hand (a grapho-motor problem) greatly affects a student’s hand writing. Getting thoughts onto paper can also be a problem for those who have trouble in this area. Language output issues, including problems organizing thoughts, finding the right words, and expressing themselves can be detected.

A very intelligent person can have a glitch in one or more of these areas. When trying to identify whether a child may have a learning disability leave intelligence out of the indicators and think about the following.

• Did your child struggle learning phonemes (individual units of sound) and graphemes (letters, numbers)? Or do they have difficulty learning how to blend sounds and letters to sound out words? Problems remembering familiar words by sight or difficulty with reading comprehension?
• Do they struggle with forming letters and numbers or have difficulty with basic spelling and grammar?
• Do they experience difficulties learning math skills and doing math calculations?
• Is it difficult for them to remember facts?
• Is organizing materials (notebook, binder, papers), information, and/or concepts a challenge?
• Do they have trouble understanding oral instructions and an inability to express them self verbally?
• Do they struggle with making, maintaining or repairing friendships?
• Do they often lose or forget materials, or do work and forget to turn it into the teacher?
• Do they struggle to plan out the steps and time lines for completing projects, especially long-term projects?
• Do they have difficulty organizing thoughts for written reports or public speaking?
• Have they developed behaviors that help them to avoid their school work?
• Do they frustrate easily?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions it is in the child’s best interest to have them assessed to discover or rule out the presence of a learning disability. Some types of LD are not apparent until middle school or high school. They only way to get a sure diagnosis is to have a psychologist do a psycho educational assessment. This can be done through your child’s school; however there is often a long wait. If you choose you can have this testing done privately through a psychologist for a fee. Regardless early identification can pave the way for children to get the support they need to experience success both now and in the future.