By Angela E. Rudderham, Director of Turning Tides Community Outreach
Most children with learning disabilities will receive some support for their academic areas of need; however, when they lack social skills, they are often seen as having a disrespectful attitude or choose to behave in a certain way. Sadly this is not the case. Many children with a learning disability or ADHD struggle to understand social rules, non-verbal cues, figurative language, emotional control, problem solving, self-awareness and awareness of others. A typically developing child may learn these skills by watching others who model the correct behaviour. For a child with a learning disability, more direct teaching of these skills may be required. If we ignore the need for teaching social skills and only focus on academics, we are not teaching our children everything they need to be truly successful.
Current research confirms that we need social skills in order to be successful in our relationships, in higher education, and in our careers. Having straight As won’t get you very far in life if you can’t handle stress or stay in control of your emotions. If you don’t have enough self-awareness or awareness of others, you won’t do well in a job interview. If you work with others, you need to problem solve and understand social rules. Even if you could work with no other people around, what pleasure would life bring if you had no one to share it with or couldn’t cope with everyday stress?
Robin Stern, Ph.D., from the NYU Child Study Center says, “A growing number of educators recognize that students who receive an exclusively academic education may be ill-equipped for future challenges, both as individuals and members of society – it's just not enough to feed only the mind. The field of social and emotional learning has emerged from these new understandings of the nature of biology, emotions and intelligence and their relation to success and happiness. Through social and emotional learning children's emotional intelligence is bolstered, giving them an enormous edge in their personal and professional futures.”
Reesearch conducted by the Frostig Center in Pasadena, California and coordinated with studies by Dr. Marshall H. Raskind and Dr. Roberta J. Goldberg over the last twenty years have looked at personal attributes and behavior, as well as demographic data to determine the best predictors of success at years 10 and 20. The results found what the researchers call "success attributes" of self-awareness: pro-activity (decision-making, empowerment), perseverance (faces difficulties), goal setting, effective support systems, and emotional stability. These attributes were found to be more accurate predictors of success than IQ and academic achievement.
Where does this leave the child with social deficits? We know they will find childhood a struggle, and we have to address these deficits before it impedes their future success as well. These deficits will not simply get better or improve on their own, so it’s time to get proactive. We need to start teaching the success attributes at home and at school. As a parent, you can look for social skill groups in your area, or seek professional guidance on how to teach these skills. Books at your local bookstore can also provide excellent resources and direction. An online search will reveal numerous websites on the topic as well. The information is out there for those who want to take an active role in helping to adequately prepare our children for future success.
Need more advice on supporting a child with social deficits? Contact Angela at 404-TIDE (8433).
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