The clash of two forces - Or when challenging kids are challenging

So are you starting to get the feeling that I really like Dr. Green and his philosophies? It's common sense, but often hard for us to see when a child is melting down in front of us. A little understanding definitely goes a long way, so I'll be sharing Dr. Greene's wisdom for at least a few more days.

Rhonda

So have you noticed that challenging kids aren't always challenging? They can work and cope in certain situations, but others will set off the negative behaviours. Why is that?

The answer, according to Dr. Greene, is "The Clash of Two Forces." Sounds dramatic, doesn't it? It's not really, just a bit of common sense:

Challenging episodes occur when the cognitive demands being placed upon a person outstrip the person's capacity to respond adaptively.

That's it. I'm sure we've all had moments when the circumstances we're in lead us to think, "I can't handle this." We're recognizing that we may not have the skills to do what we need to do.

Dr. Greene calls the "when" of challenging behaviour The Unsolved Problem. He defines unsolved problems as, the specific conditions in which the demands being placed upon a person exceed the person's capacity to respond adaptively. I'm not going to swim across the Halifax Harbour because I don't have the swimming skills and stamina to do it. Why should we expect a child with no emotional regulation skills to keep it together when they're feeling disappointed?

That leads us to another mantra - Behind every compatibility episode is a lagging skill and a demand for that skill (an unsolved problem).

When we're presented with an unsolved problem, we solve it. It's no different for challenging behaviours. That's the third question Dr. Greene presents (remember the list I shared a few days ago?) - What are we going to do differently now that we know why challenging kids are challenging? We'll get to that answer over the next few days.

If you would like more information on skills programs at Bridgeway and Turning Tides Community Outreach please visit our websites or contact us. You can reach Bridgeway at 902-465-4800 and Turning Tides at 904-404-TIDE (8433). You can also email Rebecca at rebecca@turningtides.ca.