Plan B - Or solving unsolved problems together

Finally, we're at the meat of  Dr. Greene's presentation - helping challenging kids to be less challenging. I'm sorry to have been so long-winded on this one, but wanted to share the information I have learned. I'm going to tie Dr. Greene's approach to Bridgeway and Turning Tide's approach soon, but first I wanted to get into some detail on Plan B. I can't cover it all, so if you're interested in learning more, please check out Dr. Greene's website or pick up his books - The Explosive Child and Lost at School.

Rhonda

Plan B is the collaborative problem solving approach I mentioned a few days ago, and is the recommended approach to helping a challenging child with lagging skills. This approach makes the child a fully-invested participant, solutions are more durable, and (over time), the child - and often the adult - learn the skills they were lacking all along.

A quick note now on when the best time to start this process would be. It's not in the middle of a heated moment, which would be reactive intervention. Plan C might be a better approach in those moments. Instead, Plan B is most effective when it's done proactively, or when things are calm.

There are three basic steps in the Plan B process, with the first being the Empathy step. The goal is to gather as much information as you can to get the clearest possible understanding of the kid's concern or perspective on a given unsolved problem. Ask the child what they're being bugged about or getting in trouble for - those are the unsolved problems! Stay neutral, but get specific - when, where, with whom, etc.

Now kids aren't always going to open up, and Dr. Greene has some suggestions for drilling for information. I won't get into the details here, but he has some terrific "How To" videos on his site. You can see those here. He also has a Plan B Cheat Sheet worth checking out too.

So once the information is gathered, it's time for the next step - Define the Problem. The goal of this step is to ensure the adult's concern or perspective is entered into consideration. The definition of the problem at this stage is - two concerns that have yet to be reconciled. This is tough because as adults, we usually want to skip this part and go straight to solutions. Kids tend to do the same thing, triggering what's called dueling solutions - also known as a power struggle. You can't start thinking about solutions until the concerns of both parties are clarified.

The third and final step is The Invitation Step. The goal here is to brainstorm solutions that will address the concerns of both parties. It's called the invitation step because the adult is inviting the child to solve the problem together. You want to address the concerns of both parties, and offer the child an opportunity to propose solutions. Remember, you're not a genius - you don't know how the problem will be solved.

Solutions should be realistic and mutally satisfactory. It will take time, and it's hard! Don't forget, the aim isn't to determine what happens in the heat of the moment, but solve the problem so the heat of the moment doesn't occur at all.

So that's it! There is a lot more detail available in Dr. Green's books or his website, and if this feels like something you'd like to try, I'd encourage you do check it out. But you will need bravery, persistence and continuity. As Dr. Greene says, you'll need practice, and the process is incremental.

Good luck!

If you would like more information on skills programs at Bridgeway and Turning Tides Community Outreach please visit our websites or contact us. You can reach Bridgeway at 902-465-4800 and Turning Tides at 904-404-TIDE (8433). You can also email Rebecca at rebecca@turningtides.ca.